Me aged around four wearing snow 'moon' boots and fly net 'veil' with my summer dress
This article brought back some fond memories:
Power dressing
You want her to wear the red dress to playgroup; she’s insisting on her mermaid costume. These days, the “you’re not leaving this house looking like that!” battles start young.
For many mothers of daughters, one of the best bits about having a little girl is the opportunity to dress her. Mothers of sons lament the lack of lovely clothing available to boys, and coo over the pretty womens dresses and adorable styles that reflect the sugar and spice that girls are, as tradition would have it, made of. And then there’s the question of colour, with girls clothing being available in everything from lolly pink to smart navy, while the hues of boys’ clothes tend to be a little more limited in range.
But there’s a flip side to the joy of dressing up your little dolly (and let’s face it, there’s almost certainly an element of this when it comes to clothing your female child) – and that’s when she starts exerting her independence and making her own choices about what to wear and how to wear it.
The perfectly conceived ensembles that you’ve bought for her get mixed and matched with other items; clothes from the dress-up box are worn, with staggering confidence, for a trip to the park or supermarket. Tutus and welly boots? Shorts over leggings? A sudden refusal to wear anything that isn’t pink; a sudden aversion to anything that isn’t at least a little bit princessy?
Sure, you can put your foot down. But should you? It’s worth remembering that her interest in clothes has probably come from you anyway, and that it’s important for children to feel and demonstrate a sense of autonomy. Letting your daughter express herself and her independence through her dress sense is one safe, healthy way that you can allow her to achieve this – far better in its visibility, surely, than more covert behaviour, which can’t necessarily be monitored.
As long as she is making choices that are appropriate for her own safety and wellbeing (ie – not provocative, and suited to the temperature) then the fact that she perhaps looks a little odd should probably be endearing rather than embarrassing or annoying.
One way to limit struggles over her clothes is simply to ensure that she doesn’t own any item of clothing that you don’t approve of in itself. That way, even if she wears it in a way that’s less than what you’d consider aesthetically pleasing, at least it’s not revealing / sparkly / emblazoned with a slogan – or whatever your personal dislikes happen to be.
By giving her licence to dress herself in her own combinations, you’re giving your daughter the chance to think for herself, build her self esteem and exercise her creativity. You may even be creating a budding fashionista to boot – and doesn’t every woman want a lifelong shopping buddy?
